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Going Beyond “I Love You”

June 18, 2013

15548-16DG-945x630 WhiteIn relationships, especially marriage, we tend to fall into habits and eventually we begin to feel like life is scripted and we are just going through the motions. In these times, we need to take our relationship beyond I love you and into a place of self-awareness -what we do or say- as well as the awareness of others – the needs/desires of our partners.

  • You’re not in love with a mind reader. Take time to pause and reflect on your mental process. Are you grumbling to yourself about unmet needs but not clearly stating them to your spouse?
  • Get specific. Instead of telling your wife, I love you, say something like, I love the way your hair frames your face or I love how attentive you are to the needs of the kids.
  • Take aim. Identify one part of the day which you share but is usually controlled by a routine. This is your enemy. Aim to break this one routine every day. When she’s telling you about her day, interrupt her with a kiss. Before he turns on the TV, suggest going for a walk.
  • Ask questions. Express a desire to learn about your partner’s hobbies and interests and then really listen to what is said. Just be careful not to badger or interrogate.
  • SHOW IT. Whether it’s an elaborate night away from the kids or a simple sticky note that says I love you, materializing how you feel is one of the best ways to go beyond the normal expectations of a day.

Overcoming the monotony of a relationship can be a difficult but necessary step to maintaining a lively relationship. How do you keep your relationship fresh?

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. sexinthecincy permalink
    June 19, 2013 8:34 pm

    I LOVE THIS. You really hit home how it’s important to go beyond just saying you love someone. Thank you for this.

    • June 20, 2013 9:02 am

      You’re welcome. While mere words do have their meaning they remain hollow until our actions give them life. In this case my words (post) have been given life by your actions (commenting)! so thank you 😉

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