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The Looks of Love?

March 23, 2011

I’ve always heard people say that the longer a couple is married, the more they look alike. Now that I have been married to the same man for 33 years, I am hoping it isn’t true…mainly because he has a thick mustache!  But seriously, I think people say that because of the bonding that takes place between husband and wife. Two individuals join their lives and over a period of time, the bonding causes them to know each other so well that they begin to finish each other’s sentences and anticipate each other’s reactions; they are able to read each other’s facial expressions and entire conversations can be had with only a look.

My husband and I share looks that speak volumes and we don’t need to have a follow-up conversation because we already know where it will go and how it will end.

There is the Your-lips-are-moving-but-I-didn’t-understand-a-thing-you-just-said look. This is a look that we both have right after we realize that the other person just said something important and is awaiting a response. Of course we weren’t listening; it’s the awkward pause that gets our attention.

And there is the Stop-talking-now! look. I have to admit I give this look more than I receive it. Sometimes this look is ignored and I actually have to say the words. Anytime this look is used…it’s not pretty!

We both send the Get-me-out-of-here look when we have dragged the other to a social function and they have had enough. We try to be sensitive to the other and pick up on this one as quickly as possible. My brother’s family actually has a touch-the-side-of-your-nose signal for their family to know it’s time to leave, but we prefer to have it fine-tuned to just a look.

Of course the I-told-you-so look doesn’t need an explanation. I think everybody can read that one.

My husband has a look that I don’t. It’s the I-know-I’m-wrapped-around-their-little-finger-and-I-love-it look. This look is preceded by either of our daughters saying in a soft and questioning tone, “Daddy??” I know that whatever comes after that will be costly and he will be happy about it.

Then there’s the You’re-my-hero look. I send him this look for doing things that lighten my load…which could be catching mice, opening jars, reaching the top shelf in the pantry without needing a step, shoveling snow, putting gas in my car, etc.

And then there is my favorite, which is the You-are-just-as-beautiful-to-me-as-the-day-we-married look.

In the beginning of our marriage non-verbal communication was virtually non-existent.  It has taken time, experience and some trials and errors to understand what’s in a look. So now we do sometimes finish each other’s sentences and know what the other one is going to say, but I still maintain that we don’t look alike. My mustache is not nearly as thick as his.


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