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Set It Up and Floor It

December 2, 2010

As we were leaving for Ohio Stadium, a trip we have taken many times during countless football seasons, my husband informed me that he had the GPS set for the campus parking garage and everything was going to go smoothly. I marveled at how the invention of the GPS has contributed to the harmony in our marriage.

It was at least a decade ago when we were making the same trek to see the Buckeyes play that we experienced quite the opposite. My husband asked me to drive to Columbus and said that we could switch before we got to the city so he could drive us onto campus. Because of all the road construction, closed exits and orange barrels, I passed the last exit before we were in the mix while my husband slept in the passenger seat. I immediately woke him and tried not to panic behind the wheel. He calmly assured me that he would talk me in. I warned him that I was going to do everything he said, so he needed to be clear and accurate with his instructions.

From that point on, we worked as a team. He calmly told me what lane to get in and what direction to turn, and we smoothly made our way to the parking garage with no incidents. He even turned on the radio and was not only giving me accurate directions, but also was able to listen to the pre-game news. As I tensely watched the two lanes of oncoming traffic, looking for any opening to make a left turn into the parking garage, my husband said, “Set it up…and floor it.” I didn’t hesitate. I squealed the tires as we lurched between the oncoming cars to land in the drive to the garage. He immediately grabbed the door handle with one hand, braced himself with his other hand on the dashboard and began yelling, “Stop, stop, STOP THE CAR! What are you DOING?!!”

I stopped the car and yelled back, “You told me to!”

“No I didn’t!” he said.

I replied with, “Yes you did, you said ‘set it up and floor it’!”

He just looked at me stunned and exclaimed, “No… I was listening to the radio and they asked the coach what his game plan was, and the coach said they were going to ‘set it up and floor it.’ I was just repeating the game plan!”

Needless to say, this story has taken on embellishment over the years. When my husband tells it now, he says that the parking garage attendants were diving for cover. To set the record straight, nobody was diving for cover…I will admit, however, that as we careened toward them, the parking garage attendants were poised for flight, but nobody had to actually bail!

Now, thanks to the invention of the GPS, my husband and I are able to avoid most arguments over giving and taking directions. Our trips are no longer riddled with statements like, “Why can’t you stop and ask for directions?” or “You never said to turn left!” or “I’m telling you what the map says!” The GPS has definitely been a good thing for us and for all parking garage attendants.


2 Comments leave one →
  1. Tjuana J. Evans permalink
    December 2, 2010 5:59 pm

    I love the blog on “Set it Up and Floor it!” because I can totally relate to the “Floor it” part of the article. I have a led foot, so much so, that my husband is afraid to ride with me. I thought it was hilarious and typical of a husband and wife driving experience. I am looking forward to reading Part II and III of this title.


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